Randomly saved tidbits which have amused me over the years. -Melk ------------------------------------------------------------------- 23:52 Seth {mud}: As you open the gift box, the papers melt away, revealing a 23:52 Seth {mud}: Corpse of Mutnu inside the box! 23:52 Seth {mud}: You get a feeling that this present was from Dareth. 23:52 Seth {mud}: thanks! ----- Celgiar [cleric]: any pure smasher here? Kurkkupurkki [cleric]: sure... im so pure that i say goodwill to mankind every time i smash :) ----- You tell Katiria 'damn you can tell it's a national holiday... my link is SO lagged' > Katiria tells you 'i dont even know why it is a holiday' You tell Katiria 'it's ascention' > Katiria tells you 'guess jesus has done something kewl again' Katiria tells you 'he is a cunning guy' ----- 23:49 Troops growls 'I am immoral.' 23:49 Troops growls 'err immortal' ----- Troops {asshi}: here in geekland, i'd guess being nice and cute towards a fellow mudder works just as well as cryptonite does on superman ----- 16:11 Explicit [party]: shoot at anything that looks evil 16:11 Explicit [party]: except venegar ----- from Dubbeltje: Heal all: #### Heal all: #### Heal all: ### Heal all: ## Zaxon [jax]: boyzaxandnonelese hp: 1643 (1596) [0] sp: 500 (2217) [250] TICKED (36) Avg = 32 Heal all: # Elpa shouts 'Citizens. I am assuming command of this puny little village. First of all I am going to kill you all!! You are my fucking little toys!!' That really HURT! You feel like Elpa HARMED and LEECHED you a bit. hp: 1431 (1596) [-212] sp: 431 (2217) [-69] You are done with the chant. You rub your hands and whisper 'haleloojah' You feel like you healed 114 people. ----- 21:26 Boba [party]: dammit, my new keyboard had some strange logout funktion on my mental illusions key ----- Shamino [newbie]: how do I learn to understand the concept of sarcasm? ----- Vene is very drunk... Venegar tells you 'AND yu shoudl really statt splleig your anme MEPLAK and/or melkpak and/or samsare' Venegar tells you 'im getting comfused' You tell Venegar 'alias mjölkpaket melkpak' Venegar tells you 'alreay got thatr' Venegar tells you 'christ, im going mute for....weöö....a while' You tell Venegar 'go to bed, silly vene' Venegar tells you 'I dunno, mioshtar said he'l be waitng there' You tell Venegar 'haha' Venegar tells you 'thats enough to keep anyone awakwe' ... a short time later... 03:37 Powell [party]: venegar and ebon would rule right now :P 03:37 Troops [party]: no vene plz 03:37 Dubbeltje [party]: not right now ;) 03:37 Troops [party]: he would NOT rule right now ----- 21:43 Splutty [mud]: Go Tythus! 21:43 [mud]: Splutty mutters something about Tythus spamming his friendlist.. 21:43 Boba the toasted [asshi]: who is splutty? 21:43 Troops {asshi}: sending hunter Troops utters the magic words 'Sumohn mihnoritus demonicus' Troops cackles evilly as black swirling vortex appears. Ugly demon jumps out of the vortex. Vortex closes. Explicit starts concentrating on a spell. The demon says 'I will make Splutty's life a living hell.' ----- Melkpak [dutchman]: isn't xxx the idiot who logs in totally drunk and spouts shit? or is that most guys here :P Dranil : i think it's most of the finns ----- Cavia tells you 'after 19g of being fighter, i reinc, and forget berserk'. ----- Cavia [ranger]: if i wanted to solo i'd get x-box, graphics are better. ----- Se tells you 'dutch sounds like orcish'. ----- Raffe [dutchman]: explicit muds by typing binary codes. ----- Sniket [mud]: i have no friends, who wants to be my friend?! =C Katiria {mud}: you can find friends at neopets, www,neopets.com i play it every day ----- Explicit [dutchman]: melkpak doesn't count since she's a girl -> not real fig ----- Maimer [dutchman]: jackass was fun the whole first 5 minutes of the first episode, then you got the idea.. okay, they shoot firework out of their asses and jump in poo, then what? Maimer [dutchman]: you can only watch grown men roll around in feces that much before it goes from fun to quite patethic ----- Zombiemud 101... Miukkali : all you really need to know is: determination, if jehova could do it, I can do it, and if he couldnt, I still can, the more you know the better off you are, and melkpak is a girl, not a carton of milk, and dubbeltje is a small coin Miukkali : explicit is gay, raffe is dumb, wizards are assholes, archwizards are worse, katiria is a girl who cant spell her name, and amorphist is some old guy ----- Lightning strikes! You see the grinning face of Dranil appear in the heavens. There is a loud clap of thunder. The whines of Melkpak can be heard for miles around as she is transformed into a smoldering corpse. That really HURT! Dranil : and language policy is still being enforced, melkpak spoke finnish on wiz-channel ----- Melkpak : i just spent 5 mins feeding and making my neopet happy... shoot me now Miukkali : ok : Melkpak puuhs tiredly. [dutchman]: Tarion shoots Melkpak with a SuperSoaker(tm). You are magically transfered somewhere. You have arrived to the customs. This special area has been preserved only for the most important of the visitors like revolutionary heroes and top communists from abroad. On your left is a small sign. No obvious exits. Fidel Castro stands here smiling and smoking a cigar Drakon-Solon You say 'oh crap' Fidel says 'TRAITOR TRAITOR!!!!!' Fidel pulls out his gun and says 'There is only one way you can leave Kuuba' Fidel shoots your brains out. That really HURT! Your wizardhood protects you from death. Miukkali disappears in a puff of smoke. You tell Miukkali 'haha' Miukkali : anything else? Miukkali tells you 'You hear a distant sound of weapon fireing as Fidel Castro blows out Melkpak's brains.' ----- From Batmud: Kith tells you 'i went looking for my lost childhood' You tell Kith 'on attick looki' Kith tells you 'and i got worried that my mother would give away my old toysss' You tell Kith 'and you wanted to rescue your favs? :)' You tell Kith 'grin' Kith tells you 'ssso i went up there and in opened all the boxess and found my optimusss prime ,)' You tell Kith 'save him!' Kith tells you 'when it melts abit i have try if i still remember how to transform it ,p' Kith tells you 'jah ill take it to my appartment ,p' You tell Kith 'melts? hehehe' You tell Kith 'it is frozen?' Kith tells you 'yeah its like -15c up there' You tell Kith 'hahahaha' Kith tells you 'it's cold in finland ya know' ----- Katiria tries out KoBraMUD... Nasu tells Cobalt and you: i tried some commands Nasu tells Cobalt and you: everything else failed cept kill raffe and that too was blocked Nasu tells Cobalt and you: so ill just sit here and chat ,) ----- Explicit [haggis]: you prolly have some trigs that screw that up :) Dubbeltje {haggis}: my trigs don't screw up Dubbeltje {haggis}: i'm dubbeltje ----- Miukkali tells you 'a lvl100+ player just wanted to buy a channel from me for 5m' ----- Miukkali states 'id nod, but my emotes are broke' ----- Leper : 2 * exp till next boot (or crash) ----- 12:20 Miukkali : we dont need sun here in finland, we are so warm, charming personalities that we literally absorb c-vitamin from just being near eachother 12:22 [dutchman]: Dubbeltje coughs noisily. 12:22 Miukkali : unlike the people of holland, constantly coughing from the flu that never quite heals =( 12:24 Dubbeltje [dutchman]: i understand now why fins don't hug, they'd explode from the warmth transfering ;) Miukkali : he has had a revelation! Dubbeltje [dutchman]: i've finally seen the light Miukkali : ..and it shines from the warmth of the people of Finland Dubbeltje [dutchman]: And the finnish for 'light' is "vodka"? Miukkali : nods, vodka light ----- MSN... Cavia says: but fak i havent got bored of exp and im 27g now Cavia says: im easily amused ----- Explicit [haggis]: shrije is not a mob, it's a manifestation of stupidity ----- Katiria {dutchman}: wonder if this is a finnish thing to do, no matter what program language we start to study the first example we make with is a piece of code that calculates how much alcohol there is in your blood ---- 19:08 Mobius : don't put troops in jail, kill him, put him in jail, put him in a pigeon, put the pigeon in cavia, take the pigeon, rdrop the pigeon, kill him twice more and then throw him in a trashcan 19:09 Mobius : because he has problems with it ----- Miukkali gets a new TV... 18:06 Miukkali tells you 'works perfectly btw' 18:06 Miukkali tells you 'well, almost' 18:06 Miukkali tells you 'theres one generic fault' 18:06 Miukkali tells you 'i opened it, and bold and the beautiful was on' 18:06 You tell Miukkali (AWAY '<->') 'huoh' 18:06 Miukkali tells you 'nods' 18:06 Miukkali tells you 'good thing theres a 14 dayfeel free to return poliy' 18:07 Miukkali tells you 'ill send it over tomorrow with a note "programs in this one suck"' 18:07 You tell Miukkali (AWAY '<->') 'haha' 18:07 Miukkali tells you '"hello, i just bought a tv from you"' 18:07 You tell Miukkali (AWAY '<->') 'if you wanna carry 40kg around again...' 18:07 Miukkali tells you '"yes, what seems to be the matter"' 18:08 Miukkali tells you '"theres ridge forrester in it"' 18:08 Miukkali tells you '"ridge forrester?"' 18:08 Miukkali tells you '"RIDGE FORRESTER"' 18:08 You tell Miukkali (AWAY '<->') 'who is that :P' 18:08 Miukkali tells you 'you so obviously do not watch the bold and the beautiful' ---- Raffe [hb]: home is where you can mud from ----- Khope [chaos]: do you get extra points when you kill yourself? :) Khope [chaos]: cause i think i'm all maxed out if so Shuga [chaos]: probably not iwould have 100+ masteries by now then ----- 21:50 Miukkali : hah 21:50 Miukkali : youll never guess what i got here 21:50 Miukkali : and by never i mean never 21:51 Troops : 3 small rubber ducks? 21:51 Miukkali : whered you hear about the rubber ducks? 21:51 Miukkali : and there was only one 21:51 Troops : ! 21:51 Miukkali : asshole ----- Miukkali : Imagine ruining other peoples game for no reason and having fun while doing it. Thats ZombieMUD Wizardhood. We are always looking for people who think up purges and conversions, and make them happen too. Are you this kind of person? Miukkali : Job requirements involve: Shouting as a social skill, Fluent casual insults about mortal level of "knowledge" Miukkali : Experience in tuning and breaking most sections of code and writing battle messages both humiliating to the intended target and the user (f.ex. "You suck at / UTTERLY ANNIHILATES YOUR PATHETIC BEING, throws a sissypunch and cries in terror" Miukkali : knowledge in how to appear to favour the nation the recipient currently in negotiations with isnt a citizen of is a bonus. ----- Negative the toasted [mud]: ress at tinker please King shouts 'Oops, I better watch what I step on next time, sorry Darkstar.' ... Ztara {kramma}: ressing negative atm :) Darkstar the toasted [kramma]: hrms ? ress..what ? Darkstar the toasted [kramma]: i'll wait til you explain that ress is negative shit Cavia {kramma}: hes ressing a player whos name is 'negative' Ztara {kramma}: duh ----- Troops : great, thanks to avandhar i burned my muffins ----- Janes tells you 'can you see like Neo ? I mean just the code :)' ----- Frog King bathes in the blood of Gam. Frog King bathes in the blood of Koopa. Frog King bathes in the blood of Moses. Frog King bathes in the blood of Rarezi. Kaetri [mud]: that's one clean frog ----- Miukkali tells you 'if everything blows up, try to do something about it!' ----- Leper tells you 'you are f***ed :P' ----- Churin [jax]: so what's most important for an abjurer to have? Musashi {jax}: a clue ----- 21:56 Celeborn [sales]: w: despair 21:56 Moongleam [sales]: date my girlfriend and you'll get it ----- Powell [hb]: nah, time to take a shit and play some ukelele ----- Miukkali : as a lawyer, i want a likeable lucifer Miukkali : it makes my future seem brighter ----- 07:18 Tombslayer {nin}: 15m to catch gonorrhea 07:18 Tombslayer {nin}: and who said catching STDs isn't fun?! ----- 22:40 Cavia {kramma}: ok its too fkn cold to ride my motortycle 22:41 {kramma}: Rolack giggles merrily. 22:41 Cavia {kramma}: seroiusly my nuts are cold.. ----- Istaah [newbie]: w: guild emotes :D Ronde [newbie]: show your emotions with a psychic crush? ----- 00:48 Conglomo [cow]: Where the heck is the guild portal? 00:51 Pain {cow}: melkpak needed it in her room ----- Rast [mud]: w: protter Mayfair [mud]: ask boba rast, he knows how to prot stuff! Boba {mud}: yes, if prot = kill and stuff = mayfair ----- Ztara {jax}: i wish there was a practical treant hurler reinc: Ztara {jax}: Ztara Alata the Treant Harvests humans ----- Miukkali : if anyone needs me, tell them im making a strawberry milkshake Miukkali : and to interfere with that, would be the same as to toy with death itself ----- Cavia [mud]: w:sum Cavia [jax]: someobdy sum me if u can Cavia [mud]: w:sum Cavia [mud]: w:death to people who have summon and havent used it on me yet ----- Raffe [hb]: hah ! Raffe [hb]: You examine bards and can tell the following things about it: Raffe [hb]: Bards has not yet been tuned up to snuff. Raffe [hb]: Bards is a poor substitute for your usual instruments. Raffe [hb]: You are without any affinity for Bards. Raffe [hb]: You are currently negotiating with your enemies. ----- Raffe the toasted [hb]: was bored so was testing mapper Raffe the toasted [hb]: but decided I would probably stand 1 sec vs monster to map the room Raffe the toasted [hb]: but that conclusion was wrong ----- Rhyph the toasted [mud]: i need a donut Rhyph the toasted [mud]: and a ress ----- Khope [jax]: there are more codewords for exp than for heroin ----- Tombslayer [jax]: don't hate me because I'm beautiful...hate me because I train no parry/dodge and whine to cavia to draaag me! ----- Yeao screams in anger as Soulcrusher slays Aar! ----- Tof [mud]: anyone need worst psionicist of the mud to your party? with me failing by your side, you will look like a superstar. It's a good way to boost your self-confidence. ----- XXX tells you 'you know, avandhar promised 1k taskpoints for the first player who reaches lvl120.... tonto never got those tps. But, you could promise 1k ban for the first person who reaches 100g, so we'd get rid of belfast for a while' ----- Leper tells you 'I hate opoy' ----- Explicit : I don't like ikea candles Explicit : too much work to assemble them and I don't understand the instructions :( ----- Purge [trivia]: What vegetable becomes saurkraut? Gnock [trivia]: cabbage Istaah [trivia]: potato? Jumpman [trivia]: carrot Purge [trivia]: gnock Istaah [trivia]: gnock becomes saurkraut Gnock [trivia]: i am a kraut ----- 00:28 Conglomo [newbie]: wtf 00:28 Conglomo [newbie]: dap == drop all pants from bag of holding 00:28 Conglomo [newbie]: why do I have that? ----- You feel like Harm healed you a bit. ----- 10:46 Damogran [mud]: ok, that was eric clapton, not ccr, but hey who remembers such old things 10:46 Conglomo [mud]: tirion maybe 10:47 [mud]: Tirion STOMPS Conglomo flat. ----- Arghh [jax]: Gweth speaks to you: Arghh! Arghh got me! ----- Sally [mud]: chaos demon has no sense of humor ... ----- Gelt [mud]: whoever is killing balrog, i just saw it going out of moira Gelt [mud]: it didn't look happy ----- 21:16 Miukkali : ironing a suit is like 21:16 Miukkali : you start with X amount of wrinkles 21:16 Miukkali : then you iron for 30 minutes 21:17 Miukkali : and then you have X*2 21:17 Miukkali : cos you just fucked it up